So if you have met me in person I'm pretty jovial and outgoing, until I'm not. I will make a jump and say that's a lot of people. For me it doesn't always stop there. 

I am the self professed anti- Valentine, I'm actually pretty anti-romance.  I know, I know, how? I wasn't always this way but the more I got to know myself the more I was able to be realistic about how costly romantic thinking is. As if we need anymore reasons to validate or invalidate ourselves... Then I had kids and I wasn't willing to crush them from the womb or have little mini me(s) running around the playground crushing the dreams of every child that believed in the princess fairytales and so on. I mean they needed playmates. I bought in for the sake of them! We did the chocolate, the sappy cards, the flowers, for my partner and I, the girls and even our son. We didn't treat him any different and we taught them to celebrate each other in that very hallmark way. I literally couldn't wait for them to get older so I could be a bit more of my natural self. I didn't just pull the band aid off, it was slow, tempered and intentional so that I could reveal more of me without causing them to feel less loved because of this missing gesture on this one day. I intentionally made sure to show them other gestures on other days and to remind them daily how much I love, care and am simply a fan of theirs. 

Today, I'm grateful to not have to go through all of the un-natural gestures (for me). That doesn't  mean that I don't offer it to others if they need it, believe, or celebrate it!

Community moment- This morning I went grocery shopping, the cashier looked a little disheveled and grumpy. For a bit of small talk after he said hello, I said  "Happy Anti- Valentine's day". He looked up, smirked and answered back "not a fan" I answered no, I asked how about you, to that he replied a little of both I said then I offer you both happy and happy anti- valentines day and offered my elbow to which he awkwardly fist bumped, we giggled and continued the transaction. 

Today, I offer you whatever you need, I seriously am willing to meet you where you are.

Happy Valentine's Day to you- and- Happy Anti Valentine's day to you. For others who are pretty neutral, "Happy Day" Take what you need.

Dara at ARB

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